Sunday, July 15, 2007

Bible Fight! (UPDATED)

Let’s get one thing straight: I am a Catholic only because I never bothered to find any other religion. Besides, I find it cool to belong (in the registries, at least) to a faith much maligned in the Christian world. And the name ‘Roman Catholic’ is way snazzier than ‘Baptist’ or ‘Presbyterian’ or any of that Reformation crap. It conjures images of blood and torture and the Inquisition.

I stopped believing in my forefathers’ religion sometime around high school. That’s almost two decades ago. If you ask me why, I’d probably tell you that religion is the opiate of the masses or some other piece of pseudo-intellectual quackery. Of course, that’s bullshit. I can name a few things good about having a religion: it gives hope, solace, and a moral code to people who would otherwise be lost in a really big universe. Moroever, the Bible is a great read. The truth is I lost my religion because I started thinking for myself. That’s when everything unraveled. Religion, Jesus, the Bible, superstition-- the whole series of domino tiles tumbled down into the black hole of my spiritual blender. What I’m now left with is a sneaking suspicion that there is an Intelligent Designer who doesn’t care whether I wipe my ass with pages of the Old Testament or enshrine them in a tomb of gold. Either all paths lead to God or they lead to eternal oblivion. Works for me whichever way.

However, losing one’s religion doesn’t necessarily mean everyone around you has lost theirs too. You can imagine what Sundays must be like to a heretic kid with God-fearing parents who never considered that maybe-- just maybe-- the Church Fathers were sincere but misguided dreamers (except for Paul… that guy’s just effing nasty). I’d fidget in the pews when I was younger and sneak out for cigarettes when I was in college.

After I got married and moved out of our house and my parents’ circle of power, I stopped going to church. Not even for Christmas. Going to a Hindu or Buddhist temple would be more interesting for me because it’ll be a whole new culture. The only time I ever enter the House of God is when I’m given the honor of being a godfather to a friend's kid. Whenever that happens, I make it a point not to scandalize other churchgoers. I kneel when I should, stand when I should, make the Sign of the Cross when I should, and mouth prayers when I should. As I said, I believe that religion is basically good for people and it’s not really my aim to destroy other people’s faith. I think nonbelievers who go to church and make a nuisance of themselves by blatantly showing how they despise the Roman Catholic machine are nothing but attention whores. If you despise the Church so much then stop going to fucking Mass, ferchrissakes.

My point in telling you all this is to direct you to this awesome action game from Adult Swim. Burn in hell, motherfuckers.

If you hated this post, I’m sure you’ll loathe these abominations from The Salamander:

Closet Atheist
On God and Religion


I posted a teaser of this entry in and it started a minor debate of sorts. Nothing an internet nihilist should be devilishly pleased about. That is, until someone calling himself Grizwald started trolling other commenters and some other posts. Would you believe it? Some stupid cunt I got into a nasty argument with decided she's got awesome detective skills and accused me of being Grizwald here and here. A few days later, we hear the uncouth sound of said stupid cunt's head ramming up her own ass in this particular piece of fuckery.


  1. Dear Squid:

    I am seriously going to pwn your immortal soul's ass when you die.


  2. I played Bible Fight and I couldn't defeat Eve. I suck.

  3. People who doesn't believe that there is a higher power will eventually learn their lesson, who knows when they die they would need God himself, then their goin' to sound so pathetic...

  4. That statement would be a little more convincing if only you had the courage to stand behind it and not hide under something like Plankfish. As it is don't expect people to take you seriously. I sure don't.

  5. Hey Squid! Looks like you've got a new fan. That Fur de Elise bitch really can't resist having you torch her ass.

    And btw, what's up with the hiatus?
    It's been eons since your last post. Something work-related, I suppose?

  6. Really busy with work, man. The thing is, when you're too bushed at the end of the week to have a strong opinion about anything you just can't bring yourself to hate anything. You're too tired to hate! Hopefully I'm going to have a week off soon and I'm going to be able to finish a handful of writeups that have been moldering on my desktop. Thanks for dropping by.

  7. I suppose the kid is just dying to meet you in person, that's all.