Anyway, it was one in the morning, the boss was tired, and I was trying to perk him up by making small talk. I mentioned that I'm a blogger and it just so happens that he's the subject of my latest post. The moment I gave him the URL of Songs of the Salamander I had a short flashback of the things I've posted here.
Oh Gawd no.
You hear that? That's the sound of one Squid Villanueva going down on his knees to pray for succor to a God he'd called a cunt on the internet a handful of times. And THAT one is the sound of God telling Squid Villanueva to piss off because it's five in the morning.
Okay, let me think...
Get off my ass, go to my boss's house, enter said house like a stealthy ninja, and erase the URL from my boss's phone. No?
Get off my ass, go to some war-torn African country, turn into a freedom-fighter, maim and rape and murder little black children, and live happily ever after. Again, no.
Please don't fire me. I am not a bad person. I write these nasty things because I have been molested as a child. This is a plea for help.
Admit it, guys. For a bloke who talks out of his ass a lot I'm goddam smooth.