Wednesday, July 07, 2010

The Word According to Squid Part 9

On Faith in Human Decency

Today I saw these things on the Innurnet: a huge cock stuck in a human skull's eye socket, a picture of a rectal prolapse, and amputee porn. I'm going back to bed.

On Comic Book Science

In dramas, you won't notice people standing three feet behind you and overhearing you verbalize your darkest secrets.

On Faith

Because I cannot worship a god that I can't question.

On Foolishness

If you've never made a fool of yourself because of love then you've never really been in love.

Squid on Cerebral Menopause

Because my shit is a golden god.

On Regrets

Only a fool would claim to have no regrets.

On Cleverness

A lot of times, my attempts at being clever backfire because people take my surreal sense of humor seriously.

I Submit

Item 1: The writer's job isn't really writing stories. The writer's job is TELLING stories. Writing is just an unavoidable nuisance.

Item 2: It doesn't matter if you're prostituting your talents by writing press releases, blurbs, and copies in your day job. So long as you're still making an effort to tell good stories (yes, even if you're just telling them to your stupid friends on Facebook), you're still on the right track. If, however, that same day job is the prime reason you're identifying yourself as a writer, then you're just a goddam poseur.

Item 3: Don't get me started about poets. Those dudes are batshit crazy.

On Sins

Contrary to what you may read here, my favorite sin isn't Wrath. It's Sloth. Get off your ass, Squid. There are still a bajillion stories just waiting to be told.

On Arguments

Backing down from a stupid argument like a mature and well-adjusted person isn't one of my strong points.

On Facebook

With Facebook, we can pretend that we give a shit about our friends' lives! Yay!

On Aspirations

I think I want to be a bullfighter when I grow up.

On Current Events

What is this World Cup that everyone speaks of? Where can I buy one? Will it make me look cool if I drink coffee from it?

On Temptation

The next time the Devil takes your hand, maybe you should see how far he'll take you. There are other paths, gunslinger.

On Theft

You can steal someone's heart but you can't keep it for very long unless you actually earn it.

On Regrets Again

For I regret none of the things I've done in the name of love.

On Sacrifice

Sacrifice is not about blood but about grief and how much of it we are willing to take. Grief is the coin of Heaven.

On Extinction

All paths lead to extinction. Stop wasting your time trying to please the supernatural. Make your life extraordinary if you can. And then die.

On Cannibalism

We feed on each other. Like cannibals. Or maybe lovers.

On Art

I have never starved for my art. But I do become a houseband from time to time because of it.

Squid on Cerebral Menopause Again

We are the carrion birds that shroud the sun.

Hey, Kids!

Hey, kids! When I was young, I didn't have to walk ten miles to get to school. I didn't have to study by the light of a kerosene lamp. I didn't have to chop wood and carry water so I can have lunch money. I didn't even live in a log cabin. But I did have to constantly check this thing called an "encyclopedia". If I was lucky, the information there was only five years obsolete. And whenever I needed to research anything, I had to go to a now-archaic structure called the "library". So stop whining that studying is fucking hard.

On Love

I think that love--in any shape or form--is beautiful. Yes, even love that's forbidden for any reason you can think of.

On Birds

While I love all kinds of pets, I'm against keeping birds. Birds should be free. Like Rambo.

On Arguments Again

Look. When two people in a romantic partnership live under one roof and make a home together, arguing will be inevitable. Just be sure that whenever you argue, you argue in perfect English. With a twang. So the neighbors will think you're sosyal.