Monday, March 28, 2011

The Word According to Squid Part 12

Walk in Darkness

How can you rely on the sun if the sun cannot always shine? You don't. You learn to walk in darkness.

On World-Shattering Things

Ewan ko sa inyo ha pero ang paborito kong kaulam ng monggo ay hindi piniritong galunggong kundi... ah... tender jooshi hotdog.

On Chain Messages

Stop reading this if you don't want to be included in the curse. Seriously, stop reading this now. Well, you didn't stop reading. It's your fault. Now there's no turning back. You must read this message to the very end. Don't stop! Don't look behind you, He's already watching you! You must pretend that you don't know that He's behind you. If you want to see what He looks like without Him knowing that you're looking at Him, you must take a mirror and a candle in a dark place. Light the candle and look at the mirror. You'll see Him in the mirror, standing behind you. Whatever He does, whatever He shows you, do not move until your candle burns out. But if He smiles, quickly turn on the lights. He can't come near you when there's a light on. Not unless you turn around and look at Him directly. There's only way to stop the curse. Pass this on to 983,544,321 people. Or else you're also going to grow a pornstar-sized penis on your forehead.

On Self-Respect

Dear buddy. Please don't hang your dirty linen on your Facebook Wall. I sympathize with your plight, I do. And I hope everything turns out well for you. But there's this itty bitty thing called self-respect...

On Writing Great Scripts

Always make your work personal, Coppola says. And I agree. Even in television scripts, if you can believe that. Television writing will attempt to kill the artist in you. If the artist in you can survive and if scripts are still personal despite every nasty, heartbreaking thing the worst of the worst can throw at you to wipe away every trace of your soul in your story, you will start making great scripts.

Dynamite Fishing the Mind

Cranking up synaptic activity with chemicals. Dynamite fishing the mind. Let's see what comes belly up and broken. Something nasty, I hope.

On Expectations

Hey, Squid. If you stop expecting then maybe you'll stop getting disappointed too.

On Lucid Dreaming

Lucid dreaming note: I think I'm getting the hang of this. But I'm going to need a lot of practice to learn how to fully control my dreams. They tend to escape me and run their own course. It's like wrestling with a beast. I actually thought I would get it right the first few times. Apparently, Inception-style dreamweaving takes years of practice. Dammit, I want my Las Vegas showgirls now!

On Hope and Fear

Take away hope and you take away fear.

On Career Change

I'm gonna start my own band of Merry Men. We're gonna steal from the rich and steal from the poor.

On Entertainment

Welcome to the Dark Ages. Stick around. Grab a seat. Or an iron maiden.

Sa Barkadahan

Sa barkadahan, kung sino ang hindi dumating, siya ang pag-uusapan.

On Cooking

I'm not the best cook around. Not by a long shot. But I do love to cook. It's the process of creation that captures my imagination.

On Peace, Order, and Sheep

There is a difference between Peace and Order. Those who are calling for a leader with an iron fist wants order, someone to tell them what to do, someone to which they can sacrifice their freedom in exchange for the comfort of having a shepherd. No, thanks.

On Panhandlers

People literally begging for money from total strangers on Facebook. What the fuck indeed.

Rick Astley

To irritate my wife, I sing Rick Astley songs. I think one day she'll put rusty razor blades in my dinner.

On Cooking Again

Cooked chili con carne for our dinner. This house is gonna be a gas chamber in about an hour.

On Earthquakes

Okay, there are about half a million earthquakes around the world each year. Most of them aren't felt because they are weak or they occur in the ocean. Once in a while, a big one hits a populated area, or in Japan's case, causes a massive tsunami. It's tragic, yes, but it's the price we pay for pursuing happiness on the surface of a living planet. It's not God telling Japan they're a bunch of heathens.

On Failing to Quit Smoking

Okay, I'll finally admit it. I've fallen off the no-nicotine wagon, plunged down a cliff, and got sucked into a tar pit. I'll try again by the end of the month.

On Happiness

Take what ye want. Keep what ye can. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rhum.

Stupidity

The military of Imperial Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. The death toll from the attack on Pearl Harbor was 2,350. The United States government dropped atom bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima. The death count was almost a quarter of a million. And then jokers post on Facebook that they have no sympathy for those affected by the tsunami because they view it as payback for Pearl Harbor. Really, America.

On Things That Cannot Be

Put it inside a box, kick it under your bed, and try to ignore it.

On Personality Tests

Some online test says I'm INTP. It's fun putting labels on ourselves, isn't it? Makes things neat. Makes us feel like the class to which we belong is superior to all the other sheep.

On Attention Whores

I think some people on my Facebook Newsfeed actually cherish their illnesses since they talk of little else. Maybe they think their specialness is directly proportional to the number of their ailments.

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