Monday, January 09, 2012

Das Kapital

I'm going to tell you something that might sound a little out of character for me. I've always been fascinated with plants. As a boy, whenever I saw garlic cloves and onions sprouting, I got the urge to dig a hole in our backyard and plant them. I've done so a few times but our dogs always dug them out. Recently, I got that urge again so I planted some kalamansi seeds in a pot. They sprouted like Satan's minions. Emboldened by this, I've also recently planted some onions, tomatoes, okra, and garlic in tin cans. I water them everyday and encourage them to grow by gently telling them: grow, motherfuckers.

Now there's something I have to tell you about those kalamansi seedlings. They're growing in an old pot with a houseplant. A Lima-Lima, or Five Fingers, I think. Schefflera odorata. The kalamansi seedlings are actually squatters. This is where the fun begins. You see, that old pot is a microcosm of the social struggle in Marxist philosophy. It's dialectical materialism in vegetation. It's Das Kapital with a citrus scent. On one side we have the Lima-Lima, a big-ass shrub that's growing askew because a robber stepped on it while escaping with my PSP and my mobile phone. Against my expectations, that plant had survived the ordeal and now looks to be thriving. I'll call that plant THE BOURGEOISIE. It's pretty and owns the land-er-soil and the pot. On the other side of the pot are the tiny kalamansi seedlings. They are the poor and the downtrodden. They are wretched. But they are many. I collectively call them THE PROLETARIAT. If they fully grow, they'll produce kalamansi fruits that I'll turn into juice or put in my patis. They're useful, in short. But they don't own the pot. And they don't have individual names because they're goddam communists. Maybe one of them is Lenin. Anyway, as the bourgeoise shrub grows more roots in an attempt to keep its dominance, the proletariat seedlings will slowly, patiently get bigger. Conflict is inevitable. Thesis and antithesis. We're looking at the beginnings of Red October here, ladies and gentlemen.


  1. More like conflict is inevitable amongst the...ahem, THE PROLETARIAT. Their roots are shallow and their numbers work against them, sucking one another dry of lifeblood. Long live the status quo!