Monday, July 09, 2012

Sacrificial Lamb

I think I was five or six when my older brother was circumcised. I never saw the operation but I was horrified that I'd have to go through it someday. I asked my mother why boys need to get circumcised. She said my foreskin is going to turn into an ugly flap of flesh if I become a man without getting circumcised.

As we approached puberty, those at school who were already cut would show us their dicks during bathroom breaks and all I could think of was that those things looked like mangled animals. There was even this one boy who had a traditional "pukpok" circumcision. His dick was the saddest-looking sonuvabitch of the lot.

When I finally had the operation, I realized it wasn't so bad. I had to go through the gauze thing, and the boiled guava leaves thing, and the falling strands of catgut thing, and the shriveling helmet thing, and the holding-in-your-pee-for-so-long-that-when-it-finally-comes-out-you're-reminded-of-a-fire-hydrant thing. The only bad part that I can remember about it was the morning wood.

These days, a part of me still thinks that my dick looks like a mangled animal because of the societal pressure of getting circumcised. It wasn't even for religious reasons. It was just culture, wrapped in a lot of myths and outright bullshit.

So, yeah. My precious appendage bled like a sacrificial lamb on the altar of Filipino culture.

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